Thursday, February 17, 2011


I am not eloquent with words. They don't come easy. Instead my emotions speak when I cannot. This is why you'll see me crying and it could be I'm happy, sad, excited, angry, frustrated or just about any other emotion. When something happens my initial reaction is harsh emotionally. Most people can't take it. Those closest to me know that after the first 48 hours (in severe cases) I move on to forgiveness and allow the Holy Spirit to work. If another round of hurt comes up I will repeat my harsh emotional reaction. It then takes another 48 hours of allowing things to process until I sit back and allow Christ to work.

Some things have happened recently between me and my husband. There are only a few people that I told. My husband also confided in a few people. Because one of those people whom we trusted doesn't know me and that I will get over it, they felt it was their duty, instead of coming to me, to go elsewhere to talk about me. This person also does not know all the other things that are going on in our family. I don't talk about how I think Eli's heart is doing. Mainly because I want medical confirmation and don't want to jump to any conclusions. But also because again I'm not good with words. They don't know of the non-medical problems we are having with our children. They jumped to conclusions. My husband and I were FINALLY at a place after almost five years where we were turning to our fellow believers in Christ. We were opening up and my husband was actually seeking out growth. Now I feel like going back in my hole I was in. Not seeking people out. Feeling judged. All because people think they need to do the work of God. God IS in control and HE will get us through ALL our trials. Gossiping and murmuring is not needed. Prayer is.


  1. So sorry you are hurting sweetie, honestly don't worry about these drama mongers and gossipers. There are too many out there. I am the same way with words and confrontation and I cant imagine how this is tearing you up inside. I not know you personally, but I know you are strong, kind, and just have a completely beautiful soul. Whatever you and your DH are going through, I know you can handle it and work it out. You have made 3 beautiful children together and have been through some very tough situations. I will pray for you my friend, you can and will get rough this. Our good Lord with be there with you every step of the way! ((hugs))

  2. I just want to share that through these situations with your family I have seen a lot of growth in you and in your family. It's been amazing to see you come from a situation where you've found out unpleasent news that is stressful, shocking, frustrating and yet bounce back in 24-48 hours because you've had time to pull yourself back together. I don't think people realize when you deal with special needs kids you don't have a chance to stay in that spot because you have to move on. You must find a solution so that things run as smooth as possible regardless of how bumpy the ride may be. Know that I am there for you whenever you need a friend. :)