As the parent of a child with a broken heart, I often think of what the future holds for Eli. I try not to dwell on it because the world of medicine evolves each and every day. They are constantly discovering new things and coming up with new procedures. Things that were not possible 10 years ago, today are possible. But I still think about things like will Eli ever be able to live on his own? Will he be able to have a job? How will his surgeries get paid for? And then I stop and try to focus on today and what needs to be done. It just so happens yesterday morning before heading off for an appointment at Children's I was reading a post I had responded to previously. This wonderful heart mom, whose son is grown, was giving us her experiences. So as I drove to Children's yesterday I bawled ALL the way there in thought about her response. Knowing that God was using her and her son's life to reach me. And of course she had no idea. As I drove I thought about about this fact - no matter what as Eli grows he will be accountable to God. He will need to learn to love and trust the Savior and allow Him into his life to guide him. THE most important thing is just that. NOTHING more. It won't matter if he can tie his shoes, make his own breakfast, or pay a bill. Accepting Christ and living his life for Him will be it. As I drove I also thought about how I need to be helping him learn to trust and serve our loving Savior. And I thought about the things I need to change in my life. I thought about some of the excuses I've made/make for things and the things that get to me the most. Then today I woke up and a dear friend called to tell me she had a birthday present for me. So she brought it over. And it was a book that I KNOW God encouraged her to buy me. Normally she goes through a process before buying a book. But she just knew she was suppose to buy it so she didn't do any of the normal things she does. And God in His glory knew I would need that book to get over one of my excuses. Seriously He is amazing. And as I sit here and am excited to get started reading I am humbled that in all my sin and ugliness He still loves me and works on my heart. I just pray He helps me teach my son of His awesome love and mercy.
And I wanted to close with this. It is a two part video of a young man who passed on Christmas night. He lost his battle with congenital heart disease. I think he understood what was important.