So after my last post it has actually been easy not to obsess over Eli's symptoms. I really feel like I have given it to God. I did have one last task of making the official list to present to the doctors. I was afraid to start because I wasn't sure if I would be able to type it out and let it go.
One thing I have been really working on is opening up at church. It helps people to know how to pray. I mentioned the list in my Sunday School group yesterday. A good friend suggested as I type each symptom offer it as a prayer to God. As I walked back to my seat I realized I was again trying to do the list on my own. But I can't. I don't really have the power unless God is fully with me. So I came home from church and sat down to actually type it out. And after each one I told God it's now His to do what He needs to. When I was done with it I walked away and kept telling God it's His and NOT mine. And it is. It's in His hands.
Can I tell you how good it feels to have peace about it? It's amazing.
So thank you Alan for the words of wisdom. They were taken to heart and made a task I was dreading get done with a lot less pain than I imagined.